She's a Good Girl Now...

Hi, Everyone in Internet-Land!

I'm Smokey Jane..

Lately, I have been on Cloud-friggin-Nine lately and I have no idea why. Although, I'm usually not the one to analyze things too deeply when things are going well....( I'm lying of course..) I have decided to analyze it anyway. ( See..?)

For those of you who don't know...I am a diagnosed bipolar schizophrenic...and the way I feel right now, I actually feel quite silly admitting that. I am not on any drugs and I'm completely sober as I'm writing this blog and I would very much like to sit down with the person that I was a week ago and tell her that it's really going to be okay very soon.

Just last week I was suicidal and on a very heavy binge of alcohol and drugs to attempt to combat my previous feelings of unworthiness. I didn't know how much more I could take.

One day, I decided to let go of everything. What I mean by that is that I felt like I had the whole world on my shoulders. I couldn't sleep right...I couldn't eat right....I couldn't concentrate on anything and I didn't want anyone around me for a very long time...and then something inside me said...

"Let it GO!"

So I did...
I couldn't have felt better..same reality..different perspective.
That's it.

Any questions..please email me at:
i.love.smokey.jane@gmail.com

Because I really have nothing else to say...less truly IS more!

Until then guys and gals!

Smokey Jane...............2010